Why You Should Eat Cereal Before Going Clubbing

All the lazy people with nothing in their houses but cereal and milk are in luck.

Not in luck in general because it must suck to live in a house with so few snack choices, but lucky because cereal tends to be fiber-rich, especially ones like Grape-Nuts, and that’ll “provide a good buffer for the alcohol, and will slow its absorption.” Larson recommends low-fat milk, because it’s healthy, and not because she thinks you’re fat.