Before you read this, please note that this is not a work of fiction. This is a story of how I fell in love with a stripper. Yes, I did fall in love with a stripper. I can see you twitch your nose and frown as you read this.
Now let’s not be judgemental, strippers are humans too, yeah? They are. As a matter of fact, the holy book has illustrated that the good Lord doesn’t love strippers less any more than he loves either one of us ‘good’ people.
Let’s not forget, stripping is a hustle too. They get paid wages and tips on the side, yeah!?
I moved to Lagos in January this year.
My good friend Danjuma had told me to move over from Bauchi in the hope that I’d be able to secure a better job and get more life opportunities.
So six months after the incessant remindal of how I was wasting my life working a hotel job I packed my bags and baggages, told my parents bye and moved to the greatest city in Africa; Lagos.
As usual I found Lagos scary and confusing. I lost my way on numerous times trying to get to my destination. One time, I took a bus from Lagos Island on my way to Ojota. Somehow I missed and passed Ojota and found myself in Ikorodu!
My friend was scared shitless as I got home past 12am the next morning.
I got my first job as a Content Uploader two months after I moved into Lagos. My salary was N65,000 after tax and other compulsory deductions. I was happy, at least for once I could contribute to the upkeep of the house I inconveniently shared with my friend.
Coincidentally my birthday came one week to the salary date. I remember it clearly because it was a Friday. The day my life changed.
I had gotten home, had my bath and was sitting outside on the varander as there was no power in the house. My friend and host Danjuma, returned home and was screaming birthday boy as he opened the gate of the compound we shared with ten other tenants. I smiled at him and told him thanks. We made noodles, ate and I prepared to see a movie on my laptop. Minutes later he tapped and said ‘birthday boy how far. Anything for the boys? Today na your birthday o’. I smiled again and continued watching the ‘Jennifer Diaries’ on my laptop. Minutes later he came back into the room and said I should dress up. That he had a suprise for me. Bemused and wondering what he was up to, I changed into a pair of jeans and a teeshirt.
An hour later we arrived at a venue with the inscription ‘Silver Fox’. At this point I assumed it was an eatery or restaurant.
Until we stepped inside.
You need to understand I had never been to a stripe club before. Strippers for me where those naked lithe women who danced holding poles in movies.
When we walked in at first I couldn’t make out anything through the haze from the smoke machine. Up until I saw a black naked body with legs wrapped around a pole like a snake!
My mouth opened in disbelieve. I looked around at Danjuma, he was already at the bar and had ordered a beer. He looked at me and smiled. ‘Happy birthday boy’ he screamed at me…though I could hardly hear him because of the loud music.
I ordered a beer, my mind still in a state of confusion. If Danjuma had wanted this reaction from me, he indeed had gotten it. A bottle of Star in hand i turned to watch the naked women take turns to pole dance. Within me, i wondered what would happen if the pole broke while one of them was curled around it.
As we sat at the bar, the strippers waiting for their turn to dance walked to us asking if we wanted a lap dance.
Damn the girls where fine. Tall with flat tummies and all. Just the way I like my women.
And the girls were so niiicee!! Not brash like the regular prostitutes who hung around a hotel close to my house in Bauchi.
I was still filled with awe and deep in my thought when I saw her walk towards me. Guys for no reason, I instantly wished we were in my future bedroom and she was my wife….walking towards to me to please me after a hard day at work.
As if she could read my thoughts she stopped in front of me, leaned over to the bar stool and whispered hi in my ears. What I heard at that moment was ‘my husband’. I swear. Heaven bear me witness.
I remained speechless staring at her with my mouth opened. I ventured a quite hi back at her. Looked sideways at Danjuma. Danjuma was laughing stupidly like a cow. He beckoned at her to lean over to him and proceeded to whisper something in her ears. She raised her head and looked at me with her big eyes and shouted happy birthday to me. I responded by smiling and giving her the thumbs up. She caught the thumb and pulled me to herself embracing me softly. I would have stayed in her arms forever if she let me. She broke the embrace and pulled me after her. I followed sheepishly. She would have led me to my death and I still would have followed her.
She pulled me to an couch asked me to sit down. I obeyed, totally oblivious to the other customers. She walked back to the bar and to bring my drink.
Damn this stripper was fine.
She was brown skinned. A real cocoa. Her nose was small and perfect for her almond shaped face, lit up by her big eyes and sensual full lip. Her body was banging. Tummy totally flat and the bum behind her shaped by the creator himself to perfection.
As she walked back to me, all I saw was a woman who should have my kids. She stopped in front of me handed me my Star Lager and whispered to my ears.’ I have 10 minutes to give you a lap dance. Your friend has paid me for it’. Without waiting for a yes or a no she proceeded to lap dance on my crouch. I almost felt nothing when she began but in 2 minutes I felt like her bootie doing stuff to my crouch. I was breathing heavily. She did stuff to me that no other woman had done to me…with my clothes on. I wanted the show to go on. In one minute my ten minutes were up.
She got up like nothing just happened. Stared into my soul then give me a peck on my cheek and walked away in glory.
I couldn’t stand up. I could still feel my manhood as hard as my morning stiffies.
I stared at her as she went to take over the pole. There and then I decided I was going to marry her. Even though i didn’t know her name. I didn’t care. I was going to wait for her and ask her number and call her up later and propose marriage to her.
I waited for her to finish her dance session, walked up to her and asked for her number. Without hesitation she peeled it out and I instantly memorized it.
I was still in shock when we got home. I couldn’t sleep. I could still see her face and feel her girating her wait to the music.
I slept off. In my sleep I had a dream. In the dream, the stripper and I took our kids out for a family picnic.
I woke up to the rude reality of our neighbors quarreling over unpaid PHCN bill. I picked up my phone to call my future wife.
Lo and behold, that number didn’t exist in the mtn network.
I couldn’t believe my ears. I tried again furtively and got the same response. I put the number on truecaller and was told the number was unavailable.
An idea occurred to me. I pulled out the phone number of Silver Fox and called immediately. I tried describing the stripper- my future wife to the person who picked the line and was told to come again that same night to identify her myself.
It’s 5pm as I write this story. Danjuma has called me all sorts of names and called my other friends to advise me. However I’m waiting for the clock to hit 8pm for me to head to Silver Fox to meet the woman of my dreams.
I’m in love with a stripper.
Everything I am is hers. Everything plus my N65,000 salary is hers if she wants it too. She is the sole purpose for my coming to Lagos. I just have that feeling.
