1) Women like to appear classy. In my eyes, and it is only my opinion so don’t get bitchy, nothing says dyke alert more than a girl swigging a pint. A real lady wants to give off the appearance of sophistication and champers does just that. Even better if it is Bollinger.
2) Nothing gets you tipsier quicker than bubbly. There is just something about bubbles that gets into your blood stream at a rapid rate which actually makes it a very cost effective tipple. Men take note.
3) Women are prone to like golds and pinks which makes for a gorgeous champagne colour too. It just screams femininity.
4) Red wine can stain the mouth in a very unsightly manner. Champagne does none of that but instead, adds sparkle to your teeth.
5) It’s in the movies. No girly party is complete without the fizz. (See the Sex & The City movie etc.)
6) Champagne makes you giggly. Girls love to giggle. In fact, we see it as a cute ploy to get men to notice us. What we don’t realize is that sometimes, with bubbly, a giggle can turn into a snort. Even worse, try gracefully sipping your champagne whilst grunting like a pig and see which orifice it comes out of…
7)Women like to talk. In fact, they hardly ever shut up. Champagne is primarily used as an accompaniment to toasts, the boring part of weddings and events in which people can drone on endlessly. Therefore, why would women not like a drink that inspires more?
8) Keeping in the vein of speeches and weddings, women often have a malicious streak and get satisfaction from seeing men struggle to drink from a thin narrow flute. As an alcoholic beverage, it is so unmanly that women never need worry about men stealing it from them. Bonus.
9) Women just want to get rat-faced and by doing it on champagne, they defy the laws of alcohol by getting pissed on a drink that really only promises a slight buzz. Congratulations Ladies, you prove to us once again that you don’t even need spirits to have a good time.
